My Traveling God, Rick Steves, Lets Loose

Okay, I admit it, I am a fan of Rick Steves.  No, better yet, I think Rick Steves is a god! That's right, a goddam god!  See how cute he looks in this picture!


My brother John just goes insane when I admit my 'love of Steve' in public, often times denying he knows me or travels with me.  The best is when we are somewhere in Europe, my Rick Steves book in tow, and we cross the path of another Steves fan, talking loudly to each other about our luv for this great man.  For my brother, such public displays are right up there with carrying around a placard that says, "HEY, GUESS WHAT, I AM AN AMERICAN.  BET YOU COULDN'T FIGURE THAT OUT?"

Aw, f*ck it!

Okay, I will admit.  John does have a point.  The fun of traveling is, to a certain extent, just getting off the train or the plane and off you go exploring.  And, for the most part, that is what I do.   I have, after all, been to a total of fifteen European countries: Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Scotland, England, Germany, France, Italy, Spain, Hungary, Slovakia, Czech Republic, Austria, Belgium and other parts of the Netherlands--not to mention lots of trips to see family in Washington DC and New York City and also living in Los Angeles.  So, yes, I have done a bit of traveling and have been around.

Despite traveling, there is no substitute for planning, especially in terms of picking the right flights, knowing as much as you can about various airports, currency-exchange rates, hard-to-find local restaurants, good hotels, etc.  And, the travel blogs, along with places like Booking.com and Orbitz really help.  As all seasoned travelers know, the simple things can quickly ruin a trip.  And, this is where books like those by Rick Steves or The Rough Guide are indispensable.

In honor of All-Things-Rick-Steves, my brother-in-law, Jay, who also likes to tease me about my Steve-luv, sent along the following link--CLICK HERE  

Truth be told, it really is a fun link, as it is basically Rick Steves ranting about everything he has learned over the years from all his travels.  He puts it out there; what he likes and dislikes and why.

So, check it out.


Still, for all the help guidebooks can provide, one does not want to end up looking too much like Duane Hanson's sculpture, The Tourists--right?  Yes, that is them to the left.  Case in point.  As some of you know, I have been working very hard over the past year to learn French.  And, as my family knows--cause they have to listen to me butcher this beautiful language on a daily basis--that I will not give up until I get it right, albeit badly.  Anyway, while here in England, to keep practicing, I have my Rick Steve's French Phrase book--yes, John, that is right!  I walk around with this damn little book asking, out loud, to the Brits passing along, Je voudrais une table pour deux.  S'il vous plaît apportez-moi une bonne bouteille de vin. Non, je ne vais pas manger des oeufs verts et du jambon, Sam-I-Am. 

So, about the second week walking around, as luck would have it, I passed by a Frenchman, who, hearing me, turned, happy to hear his language, and spoke back to me.  I went pale.  I said the first thing that came to mind, "Quoi? Parlez-vous de moi? Je ne comprends pas. Parlez plus lentement s'il vous plaît."  Confused, the Frenchman looked at me.  Why, if I did not speak French, am I walking around talking to all the Brits passing by as if I was some f*cking Frenchman?  The look on his face was worth a million pound.  Then he looked down and saw the Rick Steves book in my hand.  "Ah!," he said, "You are an American!"  Damn, the book gave me away.  Still, he gave me a compliment and said he was impressed that I was trying--at least I think that was a compliment.  


Devastated in my embarrassment, i went straight to the local used-book store; climbed the steps to the second floor; found the French section; took down a bunch of books; and then measured them to see which was the size of my Rick Steves Phrase book.  It ended up being L'Alouette by the famous dramatist, Jean Anouilh--that is him to the left.   I then went to my office; tore the cover off my French book and taped it to the outside of my Rick Steves book--yes, I did that; i know, i am pathetic.  Still, a perfect fit.  And back out into the street I went, this time walking around waiting for my next French encounter, which will result, no doubt, given my luck, running into a French woman with a doctorate in modern French drama, particularly absurdist, and will quote to me something from the very damn book i am pretending to read.  In response, I will say, "Quoi? Parlez-vous de moi? Je ne comprends pas. Parlez plus lentement s'il vous plaît."


WHATEVER

Still, say what you want about Rick Steves.  You have to give him his props.  Two reasons

First, he was doing the "travel channel" thing long before anyone thought that people would actually sit around at night, glass of wine poured, comfy in their pajamas, wiping potato chip grease on their shirts, as they watch someone else actually live their life.  In short, Rick Steves was doing Anthony Bourdain style travel before Bourdain made it hip!

(As a side note, I don't know if anybody ever watched an even crazier character, who, in many ways, makes Bourdain sometimes look tame--the guy named Alby Mangels?  Maggie and I used to watch this guy a long time ago, and he was just incredible.)

Second, Steves believes that travel is a form of positive politics: it teaches you about the world and all of its wonderful differences and, in turn, helps you see your own world a little better.  I completely agree.  I tell my students all the time to travel.  In fact, I think the world would be a better place if we all spent a little time traveling.

So, I have decided.  Tomorrow I am going out and making a Rick Steves t-shirt.  Better yet, Kevin (my nephew), if you are reading this, you have to make this t-shirt and send it to me.  Wear it proud, wear it loud!